May 28, 2010

We're goin to New Braunfels to "float the Guadalupe" Wahoo!

But first, Trevor and I set out to find Jack. He was at "Ms. Debbie's" house and we didn't have her address or her phone number (and Norma didn't answer her phone). Now I've picked Jack up from this location several times but of course this time, I wasn't driving...Trevor was. We went up, down and around "Park" this and that in Katy for about 30 minutes. We decided to go back to Fry? Rd and start all over. This time we found him. I put Ms. Debbie's phone number in my phone for future reference. Then I found out Jack only has 4 more days to stay with her. He starts Pre-K next year. Great, huh? 

When we got back to the house, Norma and Talon were waiting for us. We jumped in the truck and took off. We went straight out Kingsland to miss all the traffic at 99 and I-10...little did we know it wouldn't make any difference. I-10 was a parking lot from Houston to Columbus. Jackie, Clint and Dylan were in front of us so we were getting traffic updates from Jackie along the way. She was pointing out traffic cops along the way. Yeah, like we could get going fast enough to be speeding. She really is the most gifted of my children.....

We stopped in Schulenburg and grabbed some food to go...and were back on our great adventure in no time.

We drove over hill and dale (whatever that means) and finally arrived at the Lazy RnR at 2110 Hrs. The registration office closed at 2100 Hrs. but there was this really nice man that worked there who said he would lead us to a campsite. It was pitch black, but from what I could see it looked like a "white-trash meth village”.   I think the blood red full moon was an omen. Mr. nice guy led us back into the village and expected Trevor to be able to get a 32 Ft. camper being pulled by a pick-up truck (that has the longest wheel base of any truck in the Northern hemisphere) under a tree and make a 90 degree turn on a road? that was 3 feet wide. What happened next will live forever in my memory. Trevor had to back up what seemed to be a mile with Clint behind us with a flashlight. When I looked at Jack afterward he was twisting his arms over his head and grimacing. I asked him after the ordeal why he was doing that he said, "I'm holding my words". Perhaps I should pass this technique on to Trevor.

We finally got parked in a spot across from the showers and a little way up from the dump station. Trevor and Norma had some slight damage to the left roof of their camper but Jackie and Clint emerged unscathed. We sat outside for just a little while and watched all the big dogs walk up and down the roads before going to bed. (I figured they were guard dogs or maybe a backup food source judging by some of the people camping there.)   I finally had enough and went to "couch"   Norma very kindly made my bed and I will be eternally grateful as once again I was in my very favorite place...with my family. Well...maybe not.

May 29, 2010

Yippee! We're gonna float the Guadalupe today...but first we needed to get shoes to wear in the river and go to the grocery store. Patrick, C.J., Josh and Jonathon came up early in the morning. He is such a handsome boy (you are too Dylan, Talon and Jack) and he is graduating from high school next week.....I had my "Obummer" t shirt on and gave them pocket constitutions and informed them there would be a pop quiz before they left.    We left the "Meth Village" and went looking for a Wal-Mart... (BTW there is not one close to where we were) so we went to HEB for groceries. They had some shoes that were $15.00 a pair which I thought was price gouging so we went to the Dollar General. We found shoes for $7.00 although they didn't have a wide variety of sizes but we sucked it up and did what we had to do...we bought shoes that didn't exactly fit...but they were cheaper. And as it turned out...they worked fine.

We went back and had lunch at the camper. WOW...Jackie and Clint went through 2 loaves of bread and lunch meat....imagine that with 5 teenage boys. I took reinforcement lunch meat and bread but they didn't need it.

After lunch, we took off for the river. Well now we found out where all the people on I-10 were going. OMG lots of people.....We got 13 tubes (one was comped) for the cooler. We rolled ‘em down to the river and jumped in....Yikes it was cold but I had to prove I was a native Texan so I didn't start crying. I got my fat ass in the tube and it was on! I was put in charge of the cooler because I'm sure it was because I was the most responsible one there…OK maybe not. Maybe because I hardly ever drink and they knew I wouldn't drink it all...or maybe they figured it would drag me down the river so they would never have to deal with me again. After floating about 50 yards I popped a top on a Coors and enjoyed.....until I discovered the 5 inch valve poking my side. I finally maneuvered it around til it was between my legs. I figured I was pretty safe unless we hit really rough water.... but my dear children had assured me "it's not bad". Jack was sitting on Trevor's lap having a ball. Of course, Patch and his friends got as far away from us as possible not that I blame them. There was good music and not so good music along the way and there were a few f-bombs being dropped. One guy actually swam by us and apologized for his friends’ language because there were children with us.   Certainly NOT because there were ladies present?? Nothing personal Norma and Jackie. Talon broke loose from us and went through some small rapids by himself....he was so proud of his self. We floated for about 3 hours and our journey ended with Norma screaming at me..."get up", "get up" (before the current pulled me past the exit point). I couldn't hoist my butt up because I had become lax and the valve revolved to the back and had hooked in my mesh top. The tube was engulfing me...I will never admit that it was because I am too fat and I have NO CORE strength.   I forgot Jack had his water gun that Aunt Jackie brought for him. He dipped it in the river and came up shooting...mostly at me. 

 

We threw out tubes on the bank and waited for about 15 minutes before a small shuttle bus picked us and 50 other people up. To say it was slightly overloaded would be an understatement. When we finally got back to the trucks, Trevor drove through some yellow tape surrounding the parking lot with Clint following suit. Talon was telling his dad he didn't think were supposed to do that but as Norma pointed out..it said "garage sale" not "crime scene". All that floating and struggling with the tubes made us all hungry. So it was back to "Methville" for some cooking out. We had rib-eyes and baked potatoes while the Lumpkins and their brood had brisket. Of course before we ate, Patrick ran his mile as instructed by his coach. I asked if he wanted me to go with him...but he was gone and back by the time I got up out of my chair...Ahhhh youth (and 0% body fat) Oh, I forgot...Patrick and friends were invited to a party at "Whitewater" tonight. I think some girls on the river invited them, but I'm not sure 'cause that's never happened to me. After dinner, we sat outside by the fire and watched the dogs trot down the road. We also watched Patch & Co. leaving "Methville" in their rear-view mirror. He has grown up so fast....I don't understand why they didn't want to sit with us by the fire. Talon broke out the marshmallows and ate one s’more? I told him never to roast marshmallows on an oleander branch cause they are poisonous. (See, I told them I was a wealth of information). We were all pretty well worn out so I went to "couch" at about 2200 Hrs. 

May 30, 2010

I woke up at 0300 Hrs. because I was hungry. My throat was sore but felt better after I ate some Oreo Cakesters. I was also very sore but eventually went back to sleep. I was awakened just before Jack did his kamikaze jump on me. I do love him so but he wears me out! After he was through torturing me and sauntered off to Trevor and Norma's bed, I rolled over onto my stomach (no easy feat) , put my legs under me and stuck my behind up in the air....I was stretching my back and legs ......Norma took a picture of me .....I didn't find out til later and no one believed I was stretching.

I ate breakfast which Norma had fixed (and it just so happened to be in my 4 hour feeding cycle). It was delicious.

I walked over to Jackie and Clint's camper to visit. Clint was cooking and Jackie was sitting on the couch telling Patrick about her "Little Man" Pictionary game. I informed her I had failed drawing in kindergarten but she was not deterred.   I relented and agreed to play it with her. We played two rounds which was a lot of fun (yeah right) Finally all except one of Patrick's friends got up...the other one was still asleep at 1300 Hrs.   After we determined he was breathing I surmised he must be growing...never mind they didn't get back til 0330 Hrs. this morning.

I sat outside for a while with Jack asking me to "put gas" in his water gun. He loves shooting it because water shoots out both ends and also drips out of the handle. That way everybody can get wet.   Jackie came outside and asked me if I thought Trevor and Norma wanted to leave after we went swimming. I told her I didn't know. I walked over to Trevor and Norma's and they were looking for directions to the swimming pool. After ascertaining that it would be a 3 mile "hike" down Rebecca Creek, we decided we didn't really didn't want to swim at Hawk Country Club. Trevor asked me if Jackie and Clint wanted to leave and I said I thought they did. Man, that was all that need to be said......we were all packed and ready to go in 15 minutes.    Talon's shoulders and chin hit the ground when he found out we weren't going to go swimming at the swimming pool at the campground so I told him we would go to the pool at Firethorn when we got back to Katy. Of course there was the obligatory stop at the dump station but at least I didn't have to get out and watch the tank tornado work its magic. 

We were trucking down I-10 when Jack said he needed to tee tee so we got him out of his car seat and let him whiz in an Ozarka bottle. As Norma started pulling his pants up, he yelled, "My mule, my mule"....I informed Trevor and Norma that I am not going to North Carolina with them next year...they assured me that I am. Trevor said "we'll just kidnap you". I really think this could be considered elder abuse! 

When we arrived back in Katy, Trevor blocked the driveway with the camper so I couldn't leave. Talon was happy because he was spending the night with Scott (and I was happy because I didn't have to go swimming). Trevor and Jodie left to take the camper back and I jumped in my car and went to the peace and tranquility of my house.